What is weakness?
It is inadequacy.
It is vulnerability.
It is something that we are unable to do well in.
It is being human.
Many times we would beat ourselves up for not performing well…enough.
It would be the thing that keeps us awake at night thinking about how bad the weakness is…
“Why did I…”
“Why can’t I…”
Because knowing or acknowledging that we are weak is a painful feeling.
And to avoid all these, sometimes we hide…
…behind a group of friends
…behind our computers
…behind a mask.
By hiding we feel safe…
we feel protected…
we feel that we are perfect for the moment…
Or at least we don’t have to face the monster within…now.
Why am i writing about all these?
Because for years I tried to be the perfect person. The ideal Singaporean son.
Good at sports…
Having great friends..
Giving back to society…
Get into uni…
Well, as I look back, I pretty much have achieved all. A remarkable feat for a neighbourhood boy. But deep inside, I know I’ve always struggled as a person.
I know I can’t do everything myself.
I know I am weak.
But I tried not to be weak.
I tried to be perfect.
I MUST do well in school…
I MUST win in competitions…
I NEED get into this prestigious course…
I NEED to be the coolest…
I NEED to be respected…
And the harder I try, the more masks I put on, the more I lose myself and the less I know who I am.
It seemed like I progressed in life. But the truth is, I did not.
But thank God, I found Him and His church.
In 2 Corinthians 12:9 it says,
“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness”…”
It is okay to be weak.
I can confide in God.
I can turn to God who covers and gives dignity to the weak.
It is okay to fail.
That’s not all.
In the passage, Paul (the author of 2 Corinthians) did not just stop there. He went on to say,
v9 “…Therefore most gladly i will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me”
He did not just hide his weaknesses in another place.
He was comfortable in weakness.
Because in weakness, he can rely on God.
Because in weakness, he grew more dependent on God.
Because in weakness, he came to know who he is and how much he needed God.
Because in weakness, God was and is GLORIFIED.
That hit me hard.
I was always aware of the verse…so…”yes, we are weak, that’s why we need God”
But now, my reaction is “YESS!! we are WEAK, THAT’S WHY we need God”
That is why more than accepting our weaknesses, being authentic is important.
Now, I am not saying that you tell the whole world your problems. I think that can become more like a disaster if you ask me.
But what I am saying is that…
We DON’T NEED to be the perfect person.
We do not need to do this and that, become this and that to feel better… to be valued…to be closer to God…
Being a christian is NOT being perfect.
But it is acknowledging that we are not, that we can connect with God who empathises us in our weaknesses and that we can have the courage to grow to be MORE like Jesus, who IS PERFECT.
Authenticity connects us to God and others! (You know this is true when you can connect better with your table-mate in school who scored a C6 in Higher Chinese than the one who scored A1…hahaha…)
I respect someone who is authentic.
People who dare to talk about their weaknesses…
People who are willing to tell their life as it is!
Although my life now is far from perfect.
I still struggle…
I fail sometimes…
But I also succeed.
I also overcome.
But what’s more important is that I have a family that I don’t need to be someone else to be part of.
A family to do life with…
A family where I do not have to feel afraid to be the person I am…
A family where we fight together and celebrate together…
Thank you Heart of God Church!
Thank you Pastor How & Pastor Lia; they are the most authentic people I know!
Thank you Videos and Service Ops ministries!
Thank you Cai Family!
& Thank you to my CG(s)!
Because I knew my weaknesses early in life, I can have (more) strength for the future!